Let’s face it, there are so many reasons why an employer wants you to take a drug test. Maybe they discovered something in the back room that shouldn’t have been there. Or perhaps the reason is that corporate is trying to show you who’s boss. Either way, it is something that has to happen before you get that position. But you like to smoke and this test is something you are sweating over. After all, you don’t want to lose your job or the chance to get hired. So how do you pass a urine test that is designed to find marijuana in your system?
First Thing First
The first thing you need to understand is that marijuana does not stay in your system nearly as long as you think. In fact, if you are a heavy smoker and you quit, you are looking at four months max. That is of course if you don’t flush your system and just do your normal routine.
You see, one out of the 113 active chemicals in the cannabis plant marijuana is THC or Tetrahydrocannabinol. The chemical is what messes with your brain’s receptors and gives you the “high” feeling. However, THC is like everything you ingest and has to pass through your whole system before it can be flushed. Once it hits your liver, it is then broken down into a metabolite compound THC-COOH.
The THC-COOH is formed by oxidation in the liver and metabolized even further due to the glucuronide. While this process helps to weaken the THC and is what labs look for during a drug test, it doesn’t mean that the THC is completely flushed from your system. The level that remains in your system varies greatly on the individual. Your weight, metabolism, body size, and usage all goes in to determining how long marijuana will stay in your system.
If you are a casual user, say once in a blue moon kind of user, there is a four day window where the THC-COOH can still be detected. Of course if you are a heavy user, then the time frame goes up from 10 days to 8 weeks. But the longest it can stay in your system, if you quit and never pick it up again, is 4 months.
So How to Get it Out Quickly?
There are tons of different sites that will give you all sort of advice on how to get THC out of your body quickly. Some advice is old wives tales. Like physical exercise will speed up the process. Or drinking only cranberry juice. But this is not accurate advice. Sure, drinking cranberry juice or even vegetable juice is good for you, but it won’t help clean your system the way you need it to. There’s actually websites like cleardrugtests.com that are for helping you pass a test in a pinch. Most methods are very quick if you look at all of your options.
So how do you detox fast without tripping the lab results? Well, here is a list of the three most common ways to detox your body quickly. Just keep in mind that in order to pass your drug test, you do need some time. Either because you have to order the products online, or because of the method in which you choose to detox your system.
#1 Synthetic Urine
Yes, it is a thing and if you have the funds to buy it, then go for it. Just try not to show up to the center buzzing as that will blow your cover big time. But Clear Choice, labeled as a “prank urine kit” does offer a solution for those looking to pass their urine drug test. The only downside is that you don’t know if your testing will be supervised or not. Although, where there is a will, there is a way.
When it comes to using synthetic urine to pass your drug test, you can stash the pre-made mixture in your clothes and simply pour it into the container the lab gives you. Simple as that. Just make sure to read the label and mix it properly before going into the lab. You don’t want to have a bulky box in your pocket and waste time mixing it there.
But say you are being watched. Well, if you are a guy, you can buy a fake penis, pour the mixture in and squeeze the fake penis allowing the synthetic urine to trickle out. If you are a girl, the fake penis would be a bit weird. So you will have to be a bit more clever in how you pour the liquid into the container.
When females are faced with a drug test, they can purchase Whizzinator kits. These kits are small pouches that hold the synthetic stuff and when ready to use, come out of a tube. However, if you decide to go this route, you need to be sure that the synthetic stuff will work. So do your homework before purchasing one of these kits.
#2 THC Detox Drinks
When it comes to surprise drug test, finding a quality detox drink may be your only hope. Many of the drinks for flushing your system can mask the THC-COOH compound but only for a limited time. Which is awesome especially if you are faced with a supervised urine test. But you need to be extremely picky when it comes to which drink you should take. There are some detox drinks that will give you a negative test, but make you too clean which is a red flag for those doing the testing.
The brands you should avoid like the plague, are QCarbo32, and Chump Flush. These two products are guaranteed to tip off those in the lab. Also, anything you find at your local drug stores or Walmart is playing roulette. You can’t be certain those detox drinks will do their job as they are usually knock-off brands.
The only two detox drinks that aren’t going to give you away are Ultra Eliminex and Mega Clean. These two products work great at masking the THC levels in your system. Another great product is XXTra Clean and works just as great for those who can’t find the other two.
If you are going the route of detox drinks, it is important that you follow the directions precisely. Failure to do so may end up bad for you. Also, you may want to keep these products at home for an emergency instead of having to wait for them to come in the mail and miss your appointment.
If you are given some time and know when your drug test will be, then taking pills to flush your system is the perfect option. Normally, detox pills are combined with fiber. Fiber is going to be your best friend when it comes to detoxing safely and effectively. Because fiber increases your bowel movements and binds to the bile in your system helps to get rid of unwanted toxins faster. You see, THC absorbs into your fat cells, and fiber works like a sponge to scrub the fat from your body. In short, the detox pills with fiber clean out your body in a natural and healthy way.
The best pills you can take are Toxin Rid. They come in different kits depending on your needs. You can find Toxin Rid kits for 3,4,7, and even 10 days. Of course whichever kit you pick is determined not only by how frequently you smoke but also by how many days you have until the test.
When it comes to taking a urine test for any drugs, the goal is to pass. You don’t want to waste your time going only to find out that you failed. Especially if failing that test determines if you still have a job on Monday morning. So, the best thing to do of course is not to smoke.
Granted there are those who live in a state where marijuana is legal. Even so, companies have the ability and the right to test whoever they want, whenever they want. After all, state laws differ greatly from Federal laws. But soon we may be in a country that realizes how silly marijuana testing is, and those who smoke will no longer have to clean out their systems or buy expensive test kits. Until that day comes though, these three sure fire ways to clean your body are the best route you can take. Just remember to steer clear from bad advice.